Book Swapping
2010 was the year I noticed I could think clearly about everything except myself.
Third year of engineering moved like a run after a walk. Harder subjects, more projects, deadlines always close. Some classes worked like puzzles I enjoyed; others were just grind. The part I loved was after class, watching my own code turn into apps that actually ran. Evenings were volleyball and football with a set of friends I grew close to that year.
A few of us tried to build a startup to let students swap textbooks. Standing it up was easy; getting anyone to use it was not. I remember trying to talk others into it, showing them reviews, walking them through it. It taught me more about working as a team and unsticking problems than most of my courses did.
And yet, when I turned the same clear thinking on my own life, it failed me. I could see the structure of a complex system at a glance, but my own long-term direction stayed blurry, and my planning had not really changed since the year before: still day to day, still short horizons. The other thing I felt was the absence of people aiming where I was aiming. By the end of the year I had a sharper sense that a future is two problems, not one. Knowing what I am capable of, and finding the people who complete it.